Saturday, February 17, 2007


For too long, the western part of my kingdom has been ravaged by my two canine avatars of destruction, aided in no small part by the Evil Forces of Entropy (laziness and neglect). No more, say I. It's time to take my backyard back, and replace the ravaged wasteland of arid powdered granite and dog poo with the lush greenness of a beautifully manicured lawn!
It's a four-pronged plan of attack:
Stage 1: Install a Virtual Fence of Impenetrable Green Plastic to limit my organic rototillers to the patio and side yard. Check. (Although, the fence may be a little too virtual, judging by the number of landmines I had to deal with this morning. OK, more vigilance required).
Stage 2: Clean detritus from yard, level and fill in holes. Gah. Check. Even in February it's too hot for this crap. Must be global warming.
Stage 3: Break up soil surface (OK scratch it with a rake) and water liberally in preparation for the final assault. In process.
Stage 4: Add seed, 20 bags steer manure, water and wait. (I'm not going to be a favorite with my neighbors for a while, but we're all going to have to make sacrifices for the good of the kingdom). Begins tomorrow...
Haro BVK, and may God favor the right!

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