Day FIVE...

I'm still missing my dip, but not as much as earlier in the week. I'm frantically working my way through sunflower seeds and baby carrots, and every time I get the urge, I go for a walk.
Been walking a lot this week.
While I was on one of those walks, this post came to mind... the virtues of dipping...

I love dipping. I love that first dip of the day, when you press the tobacco to the gums on the side of the mouth (for me it was always the left side first) and feel that initial tingly-almost-burning-sensation, that mildly eye-opening jolt as the nicotine punches into your bloodstream, bringing an instant edge to the thoughts in your head, as though the whole world just came into focus.
Curling your tongue around the wad and moving it from one side to the other as the tingling becomes almost too much to bear, and feeling another mini-rush as the baccy contacts a swath of virgin gum.
Knowing that you're getting all the nicotine pleasure that smokers do(maybe more - chewing is more concentrated) without any damage to your lungs/wind whatsoever.
You know what the coolest part of dipping is? It's smoking, guerilla-style. All those places you poor smokers are banned? Wide open territory for the dipper. Malls, restaurants, movie theaters, you name it. Hell, elementary school field trips, if you're covert enough. If you adjust the size of your wad accordingly and are prepared to swallow your spit, you can do it anywhere and no-one would notice (except maybe another dipper).

Well if dipping is so great, then why quit?

At the end of the day, I'm still putting nicotine into my body, along with all the problems that nicotine brings. It's a vasoconstrictor, which ups the blood pressure and messes with the circulation. It also messes with your bodies regulation of blood sugar, which was a shocking fact that I discovered this week.
I am highly addicted to this stuff - to the extent that I was blowing through over a can of dip a day, and I think that's a LOT of nicotine.
I hate the hold it has on me. I hate that I crave it so much. I hate that I change my behavior just to fit it into my day. Its like a frigging parasite in my brain, controlling what I do, and when I do it.
That's why I quit. That's why I need to stay quit.